A Journey's End

The Angels came to guide Jim home to Heaven on Tuesday, July 9. The boys, their wives, and Margaret were all there to release him lovingly into the arms of Jesus. Their hearts are aching but they are so very grateful that this long Journey has come to an end. The words thank you could never begin to express the gratitude they have to so many who have walked this Journey with them. They could not have done it alone and are so thankful that God blessed them with so many people who supported them and carried them along the way. God Bless you all!

Funeral services were held on Monday, July 15 at St. Michael Catholic Church, Sioux Falls, South Dakota.  The attendance and outpouring of support was overwhelming.  Jim had orchestrated the majority of the funeral services and it was truly a beautiful tribute to a life well lived.  


The following is a letter that was written by Jim's sons and shared at his funeral:

To all of our dear family and friends:

The words “thank you” could not adequately express the gratitude we feel for all of the amazing support we have received over the past 17 months.  All of the kindness and prayers are what sustained us during these difficult times.  God never intended for us to do the difficult things in life alone, that is why he gave us each other. 

Dad tried to instill the message of always giving your best into the minds of his children.  He told them that they didn’t need to be the star, just put forth your best effort and give the glory to God.  He often said, “Be the best version of yourself that you can be.”

Dad loved to laugh.  His dry and witty sense of humor made light of all situations.  He was quick to ease awkward and uncomfortable moments with a joke.  When he was with his brothers, they would often laugh so hard that they would be in tears.

As we have reflected on Dad’s life over the past couple of days, we were again reminded of his passion for his family and for life.  He was very selfless and always put others first, especially his family.  Dad worked two jobs for nearly 27 years sacrificing holidays, birthdays,   and anniversaries, in order to provide for his family.  While Mom was tirelessly running the boys from one activity to the next, Dad was usually working but he always made a point to be present for important events like games, piano recitals, school programs, graduations, or whatever the occasion may be.

Dad taught us many lessons but, the most important lesson was how to rely on God during life’s challenging times.  He not only showed us that prayer and a relationship with God are what will bring you peace, he lived it.  After Dad was diagnosed in February 2011 he wanted to share his journey with others.  He started a blog with the hopes of bringing people closer to God and to strengthen their relationships with Jesus Christ.  When people would ask how he was doing, Dad often responded, “living the dream.”  We were so privileged to share that dream with him. 

As dad’s disease progressed, he often listened to music on his iPod while he slept.  A song called “The Old Man” had particular meaning to him and to us.  We would like to share those lyrics with you;

The Old Man

The tears have all been shed now

We’ve said our last goodbyes

His souls been blessed

He’s laid to rest

And it’s now I feel alone

He was more than just a father

A teacher my best friend

And he’ll still be heard

In the tunes we shared

When I play them on my own

I never will forget him

For he made me what I am

Though he may be gone

Memories linger on

And I miss him, the old man

As a boy he’d take me walkin’

By mountain field and stream

And he showed me things

Not known to kings

And secret between him and me

Like the colors on the pheasant

As he rises in the dawn

Or how to fish and make a wish

Beside a fairy tree

I never will forget him

For he made me what I am

Though he may be gone

Memories linger on

And I miss him, the old man

I thought he’d live forever

He seemed so big and strong

But the minutes fly

And the years roll by

For a father and a son

And suddenly when it happened

There was so much left unsaid

No second chance

To tell him thanks

For everything he’s done

Oh, I never will forget him

For he made me what I am

Though he may be gone

Memories linger on

God I miss him, the old man

            Thank you to all who have traveled this journey with us.  Dad, your journey is finally over.  “Well done my good and faithful servant.”  We love you Dad!  Rest in Peace.

The Great Sacrifice

June 18, 2013

The Great Sacrifice

Today is my 56th Birthday. A lot has happened that has changed my life since my last Birthday. Several of those things make me wonder if I will celebrate any more Birthdays. I always knew I would die someday. We all have to die to leave this world to enter Paradise. We are born to die.
In August of 2011 my life as I knew it began to change due to some unexplainable episodes. While we researched for the cause of these episodes, we were confused about what was taking place. Dr. Viola, a Neurologist, stated that it sounded like some type of seizure activity, which in my mind I quickly denied. After undergoing testing for several months, a small lesion was discovered on the right temporal lobe of my brain. After meeting with a Neurosurgeon it was recommended I have surgery to remove the grape size tumor in February of 2012. The good news was it was fairly easy to remove. The bad news was the biopsy confirmed it to be a grade 4 glioblastoma – the most aggressive and incurable form of brain cancer. From the moment Dr. Pumala told me of my diagnosis standing by the side of my hospital bed, my entire life changed. I always expected to die someday, but not within the next year or two. I was under the influence of a lot of medication and those first few nights were rather sleepless with a lot of time to think. I took great comfort in saying the Rosary – the Blessed Mother brought me much peace. One of the Mysteries of the Rosary that really struck me as I prayed was The Agony in the Garden. I thought about Jesus in the Garden when He said, “Father if it is possible let this cup pass from me but if it is not possible, not my will but thy will be done.” Over the next several nights I wondered over and over why this was happening to me. Then I began to think that this possibly could be my vocation in life and I had an opportunity here that I was overlooking. This was to be a true test of my Faith. It is easy to SAY you have Faith, but much more difficult to LIVE that Faith. I had to believe that God had a plan for me in all of this. As the father of four boys, I felt a responsibility to show them how to truly live Faith in the most difficult of situations. I was never really angry with God, I did question “why” but I wasn’t angry. I thought that perhaps my whole purpose for my life was to show my sons what true Faith really is. I did think about the option of being angry, but I did not want to spend the remainder of my days being angry at God. I decided to make the best of my circumstances with prayer and meditation. Everyone on Earth has to die this just happens to be the way God chose for me. Throughout the course of time, I have had much time to think and pray. One of the most important things I have come to realize is that Jesus did not have to die. He was human and He was given free will as we all are. I always knew that God sent His Son to Earth to become human and to die for our sins. What I did not fully comprehend until recently is that on the night of the Last Supper in the Garden of Gethsemane when Jesus was praying and suffering, He made the conscious decision to go through the passion and to die a very cruel death on the cross in forgiveness for ALL of the sins of humanity. This would open the gates of Heaven, allowing all of us the chance to be with God FOREVER. This was, and is, the greatest of all Sacrifices. Jesus had told the disciples that the greatest sacrifice anyone could make was “to lay down one’s life for his friends.” So you see – this disease has opened my mind and helped me to understand the true meaning of the Greatest Gift given to all of us.

  I have had the opportunity to live a wonderful, full, and blessed life. God has been good to me! But now I am growing weary. I have been struggling with this disease for well over a year now. I have lost vision in my left eye, my left side of my body has become weaker, I am easily confused, more dependent on others - I am tired! I now look forward to the time when Jesus will reach out his hand to me and say, “Welcome home my son!”


Due to the progression of Jim’s disease and his inability to type he  dictated this entry for me to add to his blog for him. We do so appreciate all of your thoughts and prayers as Jim enters this stage of his Journey.
Margaret

Are You Connected?

Margaret was driving me across town today on some errands, and we both noticed several people on their cell phones, either texting or talking as they attempted to drive in busy traffic. I have also noticed a lot of people in other places who are on their smart phones, their IPads or their laptops as soon as they can get online. The  people in traffic messing with their cell phones got me thinking about how connected we all seem to think we need to be. The thought came to me, “How connected are we all to God?” Just think about how the world would be if everyone felt they had to be that “connected” to our Creator in heaven, who would like nothing more than to have us Love Him that much and miss Him that much that we had to almost constantly seek to be in touch with Him!

 All that God asks of us is to love Him with our whole hearts, our whole minds, and our whole souls! Do we Love Him that much? Are we ”that connected” with Him? Here is a small challenge that may make all of us better as Christians. The next time you go to sign in online, make a call, or use your portable device, say a short prayer to God and tell Him you love Him and tell Him how your day is going.  The next time you want to twitter, tell God how your day is going. He cares about you more than you can imagine. Let’s try to be better “connected with the One that matters the most!”

TYGFTD (Thank You God For This Day)

God Is Never In A Hurry

I read a small devotional book every morning called “Streams In
The Desert” by Jim Reimann. This reading really hit home with me, so I thought I would share it with all of you.

After forty years had passed, an angel appeared to Moses in the flames of a burning bush in the desert near Mount Sinai……Then the Lord said to him, “I have indeed seen the oppression of my people in Egypt. I have heard their groaning and have come down to set them free. Now come, I will send you back to Egypt.” Forty years was a long time to wait in preparation for a great mission. Yet when God delays, He is not inactive. This is when He prepares His instruments and matures our strength. Then at the appointed time we will rise up and be equal to our task. Even Jesus of Nazareth had thirty years of privacy, growing in wisdom before He began His work.

God is never in a hurry. He spends years preparing those He plans to greatly use, and never thinks of the days of preparation as being too long or boring.

The most difficult ingredient of suffering is often time. A short, sharp pain is easily endured, but when a sorrow drags on its long and weary way year after monotonous year, returning day after day with the same dull routine of hopeless agony, the heart loses its strength. Without the grace of God, the heart is sure to sink into dismal despair.

Joseph endured a long trial, and God often has to burn the lessons he learned into the depths of our being, using the fires of prolonged pain. “He will sit as a refiner and purifier of silver”. (Mal.3:3) Yet, He knows the specific amount of time that will be needed.Like a true goldsmith, God stops the fire the moment He sees His image in the glowing metal.

Today we may be unable to see the final outcome of the beautiful plan God has hidden “in the shadow of His hand” (Isa.49:2) It may be concealed for a very long time, but our faith may rest on the assurance that God is still seated on His throne. Because of this assurance we can calmly await the time when, in heavenly delight we will say “All things have worked together for good.” (Rom.8:28)

As Joseph did, we should be more careful to focus on learning the lessons in the school of sorrow than to focus anxious eyes on the time of our deliverance. There is a reason behind every lesson, and when we are ready, our deliverance will definitely come. Then we will know we could have never served in our place of higher service without having been taught the very things we learned during our ordeal. God is in the process of educating us for future service and greater blessings. And if we have gained the qualities that make us ready for a throne, nothing will keep us from it once His timing is right.

Don’t steal tomorrow from God’s hands. Give Him time to speak to you and reveal His will. He is never late – learn to wait.

He never shows up late; He knows what is best.

Fret not yourself in vain, until He comes, just rest.

Never run impulsively ahead of the Lord. Learn to await His timing – the second, minute, and hour hand must all point to the precise moment for action.

 

I have been doing very well these past weeks. I am on an increased dose of medicine to prevent seizures, and have been feeling pretty good. God has truly Blessed us on this journey. We try to take each day as the gift that it truly is, and have been doing well to date. Only 19 days to Matt and Jen’s wedding date! If God wills it, I will make that in good enough shape to enjoy the event to the fullest with all of our family. I just have to remember not to run ahead of God and let His plans play out for all of us. God Bless all of you and thank you for your continued prayers and support!

Yesterday is History, tomorrow is a mystery, today is a gift – that is why they call it the present.

And So It Really Begins

My last blog article was rather brief, written from the hospital room, and written, I now better understand, under the influence of a strong dose of medicine to help me from having seizures.
I reread that “Thy Will Be Done” piece, and decided I could not end all of this on that note. It sounds like I am just throwing in the towel on this journey, which I am not yet.

Medically speaking, yes, I am throwing in the towel. The towel is in the team laundry basket on the way to the cleaners. The wonderful staff at Avera’s Prairie Center have done all that they can now do to slow or stop the growth of this cancer in my brain. There is no sense in spending more time, money, resources, and effort in trying to get ahead of my cancer, as it is doing what it is supposed to do. This type of brain cancer is an old, very aggressive type that just takes off and grows. Doctors know what works for a while in some patients, but the end result is just what is happening, the tumors grow, the brain cannot contain the pressures, the patient starts to show neurological (seizures) symptoms, and the tumor eventually will kill the patient. So, physiologically speaking, we have quit fighting the disease and are just going to make the rest of this journey as comfortable as possible as we can for me and for my family. But now is when the real journey begins.

You see, up to this point it was just lip service, but now I get to walk the walk. Now is when true Faith in God’s Plan truly begins. Now I can’t do all of things I was able to do before. Now I have to rely on others to “wash my feet” as Jesus did for His disciples. (That analogy was given to me by one of the wonderful Home Hospice nurses). It is hard now to have to watch Margaret and my family become my caregivers. Now is when I have to trust in God that all of this will end well according to His plan. Now is when I have to use that Faith in God, that Hope in Heaven, and that knowledge that His love is there for me and for all of us.

Now I get to use that wooden cane I made from the branch of one of our apple trees this summer. Now I need to steady myself when I walk, as the medicine to prevent seizures could put a young mule down (at least they seem that strong). When I walk it seems like I am wading in about two feet of water at times. I will not be driving any longer (luckily for most of you).

Will I have enough time and ability left to build a couple of more projects, or will this cancer take away those skills quicker than I am ready for it to? This is what faith and trust in God is all about.

I had told God last year that if I had one more good Christmas here on earth, I would not mind spending Easter in Heaven, and He may have heard my prayer. We had a fantastic year – I made it a point to take in everything that I could, the beauty of the autumn leaves, the summertime breezes, the foliage we had when the leaves turned, some great shooting out at Hunter’s Pointe, one of the best pheasant hunts I have ever been on, a great deer hunt, some wonderful family times all year, a beautiful wedding for Tom and Michelle, Mom’s 80th birthday, and many great family events. We had the best Christmas ever, and now I am ready to follow His will. I do have one more wedding to get to in April if God wills it, for Matt and Jen, but then, I am ready to let her ride.

I have had a life that goes beyond description for blessings. I got to work in the building industry with my family for over 37 years, helping to build people’s dreams and getting to do what I loved to do. Then, I even got to be a fire fighter for 26 plus years, a job which I loved dearly as well.

I could not have asked for a better family to be raised in, a better set of parents, a better faith life, better brothers and sisters, or nieces and nephews. In July of 1980, I married Mary Margaret Callaghan, who has forever changed me. We have had a dream life together and raised the most wonderful family anyone could have imagined. I know that all of you will be with me in heaven again someday. I want each of my children and grandchildren to know that I will pray for each of you each day and I will be with you.

When you get to heaven, I will be the guy sweeping up just inside the gate. “I told Margaret I would save a place for her on the bench there.”

Jimmy

Thy Will Be Done

On Tuesday morning, I was putting dishes away from the dishwasher.  When I looked at one of the stacks of silverware, I noticed something familar about this.

      As I realized this, I start to get that all too familiar wave of nausea begin to move up through my body. This in turn became what I had known over a year ago a  seizure, I was sweaty, with palms down on the counter, but just stood there shaking a bit.

     This was quite disconcerting for me. The seizures occured about every half hour after that, Margaret decided we needed to get into the ER, which we did, they admitted me for further testing. I spent the night in the hospital and had further tests done. The MRI of the brain shows a significant growth in the original tumor area. After further consultation with DoctorTollentino, we both agreed on the next course of action. We had tried three different oral chemo treatments, as well as now a fourth and fifth chemo treatment to no avail. The next treatment would be a very agressive chemo with many bad side effects.  The end result would be the same. Margaret and I have decided, along with our children and Doctor Toletino to keep me as pain free as is possible and to let God's plans for me take there course, God Bless & LOVE ALL OF YOU!

February 12, 2013

Tomorrow is Ash Wednesday, the first day of Lent. Lent is the forty days before Easter which we use to prepare ourselves for the coming Celebration of the Resurrection of Christ. In the Catholic Church we traditionally use these forty days to help to increase our discipline, both spiritually and physically to prepare for the coming celebration of Easter. We are told we should pray, fast, and give alms to help to prepare ourselves.

Matthew Kelly, an advocate who is working hard to revitalize the Catholic Faith speaks about how we let our body’s wants control us in many of the things we do. Our body tells us we want coffee, sweets, too much salt, too much TV, too much Facebook, too much of many things. We tend to seek the easy route and to satisfy that want as quickly as we can without thinking about the consequence many times. We must learn to discipline ourselves if we are to be true Disciples of Christ. The body needs to know what it is to say no to it, even if it is a small thing just to ourself. In these small victories over our wants and desires, we will grow in strength and become truly in control of ourselves and of our lives, both spiritually and physically.

Lent offers us the opportunity to “Fast” from some of those things that control our lives. Perhaps we could spend less time watching TV – give up one of those cups of coffee - do not eat something sweet when the body says it wants some sugar – don’t pass along a story when someone is spreading gossip – take a walk at lunch time and clear your mind a bit – set aside some time for you and God to visit each day, He always has time for you – take the opportunity to go out of your way to say something nice to someone at work – both of you will feel better for it.

Each of us knows where we need to improve ourselves, let’s take Lent this year to start on those improvements. I know I need to eat healthier, to take more walks, to trust in God’s Plan completely, and to be less judgmental of others.

My third chemo treatment was completed last Thursday, and today I am starting to feel pretty good again. I kind of had the chemo fog they talk about for a day or two – yesterday I had very little energy, but feeling pretty good today.

Thank God for all those who work in the health care industry who care lovingly for others each and every day. Say a prayer for those children who are struggling with disease and cancer as well.

God Bless all of you and make this your best Lenten Season ever! Thank you for your thoughts, prayers, and support.